It's one of those "conversation days" in my head.

Some might call it brainstorming, but it's a little different than that. It could even be a lot different than that! I'm not sure it matters. Just that there's been a lot of activity inside the old noggin all day.

My thoughts have been like mischievous little Hobbits running around in a party scene!
Impossible to catch and carry, causing turmoil across the scene! But you know, watching them, they can't carry on with their trouble-making forever.

I'm confronting my life,  and what's been in it. A lot of hard stuff. I'm actively dealing with it, but at the same time stuff is on temporary hold.
I guess I'm referring to this as "stuff" right now because of that hold.

Some internal reasons for this hold may be issues I carry about acceptance, grace and self-love.
Then, there is the difficulty of keeping all the fragmented pieces of life in one place long enough to process.
There are also challenges outside of myself.
I'll work my way through these things.
It's tempting to skip over these parts of the trail, but then, if I did, this would be an entirely different trail than the one I've chosen and committed to.

I've chosen the trail of vulnerability, bravery, revelation, and light.
It is the trail of connection and creativity.
On this trail, I don't get left behind.

If I didn't stick with these things, I don't think I could even make it to the end of this week.

I may not be free to speak my story today.
But, today, I can paint my connection to life. I can make things that have a voice.
I can show up every day and write about the journey of getting from where I am, now, to my "there" vision.

Nobody that I know starts out finished, unless they aren't going anywhere.
Usually, some struggle is involved, even for people who have grown up with a solid foundation of love and support beneath them.

We are all in this together.

***

Just last week I purchased a t-shirt with an inspirational hand-lettered message on it, directly from Sean McCabe, the person who stoked joining my passion with this connection. He inspired my first daily post, and my commitment toward showing up here, in this way, on the trail.

The words on the t-shirt simply say, "THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH."

I trust the message, in part, because of its simplicity.

I've also looked at a picture on my therapist's wall for years that says, "Simple is Beautiful."
It's paired with another statement piece that says, "Do What you Love."
I have been hoping and praying for thousands of days, one day I could say something about those two statements becoming a part of my story.

I've been showing up on this trail, in therapy and other ways, for a long time.
It's prepared me to be here, together, with you.
This isn't just my art path. This is my healing path.

This is my life path.

I think I'm on the right track. "Showing Up" messages are coming together in beautiful ways.

The focus is on facing forward, progressing into the Light where all life flourishes.

I am a firm believer in turning all things for good, no matter what.

But this takes work. And TONS of showing up, I gather. Probably, for the rest of forever.
There is no end. Isn't that kind of the beauty of it, though?

***

Today, I had a little time in my studio to begin a new painting!

Like the last painting I presented, it is also still in process!
My time was limited, so I didn't get too far into the conversation with it today. Right now I sense a stronger "setting" developing, whereas in my last painting the subject was apparent first. So I'm anxious and excited to get back to what or who is living inside this one, or whatever else might appear!

I learned from my last painting to trust the process of staying with it more!
To trust I could show up, connect, and be present with something more than for a span of a single session.
This was new for me last time.

I also started taking photos from the first mark to bring you along for the ride!

I'm thinking this one might take me 3 days, maybe even more! We will see!

Enjoy!