Today, I tell of the future.

I have been working double-time to stay in the present along this journey, but today is a reasonable exception to the rule. The present moment of tomorrow will likely see me in a temporary state of unconsciousness.   I'm taking advantage of my waking state to tell you about this.

No, this is not the surprise I was talking about sharing in my last update. (That surprise is on it's way, as well.)

But, first, tomorrow, I am planning to be having surgery to remove a cyst on my ovary, which will likely involve the removal of the ovary itself.

All the time, things are unfolding.

I'm not used to sharing details here before they happen, so this is a new venture.
I am extending my hand, and bringing you along for this one.

I've been riding some wild hormonal waves, and I don't want to wake up from surgery, and not know how to explain without a fair heads up of why that might be.

My last ovarian surgery was in December of last year, but that time it was an emergency surgery when a cyst burst, which had a blood supply, causing severe internal bleeding.  I sat for hours bleeding internally while I was misdiagnosed in the ER as having a gallbladder attack, before the true source of my pain was discovered, and I was rushed to the OR.  I wasn't sure I'd wake up from surgery. That event, and the process of recovery, was actually the catalyst that pushed me here to The Dirt Trail!

So, actually, I should give this event a little more credit. It actually is exciting to be going into the depths of my most vulnerable insides, and having them exposed to light.

Tomorrow, some of my insides might actually even be coming out, permanently. Perhaps more on how I feel about that later.

I'm trying for that to not sound too awkward.
Is what I'm saying weird?
I can't really tell right now because I'm pretty exhausted....I just found out I was having surgery on Monday, and tomorrow is Friday.  I've been busy this week getting things at home prepared for my down-time. It's like going on vacation, without the actual vacation part.

But anyway, I'm sort of a home-body, so it's not all so bad, right?

I've been pre-processing surgery, this time, which is so different from my last experience. I have no idea where I'll be led after I wake up from this one. I wonder if this is a common experiences for people when they have surgery? It's like you wake up, and there's something just a bit different about everything.

You go under, and come back up again.
It can take some time to figure out where, and how, things have changed.
I'm convinced that part of surgery is the potential for deep transformation.
Something about being put to sleep, and defying death, or something.
Those first few moments you open your eyes to the world...

It's like that quote by Heraclitus:
"No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river, and he's not the same man."

***

It's 1:11am, and the pre-registration nurse told me I should get a good night's sleep. So, I guess i should try it out before it's too late.

It's 1:39am now. Thankfully, pretty much all I have to do tomorrow is be there, right?

Wake up, and be there. And then, wake up and be there.

The same thing, and always new.